After a bad interview, it's easy to go from “I couldn't answer that question” to “Maybe I'm not suited for this.” There are quite a few steps between those thoughts, but they don't feel very far apart at the time.
I don't think I've mastered the mental side of recruiting. It's easy to write something sensible and still feel awful when the rejection arrives. This page is partly a reminder to myself.
How much can one interview show?
I don't agree with everything interviews test. But a hiring team has limited time and needs something it can observe: can you write the code, explain your reasoning, or draw on relevant experience?
Whether someone is reliable to work with, handles disagreements well, or sees a project through is harder to establish in an hour. An interview catches some of that and misses plenty.
A rejection might reflect a gap in my preparation, or a team looking for someone with more experience in that particular area. Often I don't know which. If I can identify something I answered badly, I can work on it. Guessing at the parts I never got feedback on doesn't get me very far.
I couldn't prepare for every direction at once
I've left an interview realizing my ML fundamentals were weak, spent time reviewing them, and then struggled with LeetCode in the next one. That's frustrating: before the work you've just done gets a chance to help, another gap shows up.
Last year I applied to SDE, MLE, and quant roles at the same time. That was when I learned how much separate preparation they needed. Some fundamentals overlap, but the follow-up questions go in very different directions. With the time and background I had, I couldn't do all of them well.
Looking back, I needed to narrow my focus rather than add another preparation checklist. Exploring other roles is fine. It just takes time, and sometimes it means accepting that you aren't ready for a particular opportunity yet.
Compensation, title, and what comes after
Read enough tech career discussions and life can start to look like a short list: which company, how much compensation, when the next promotion happens. It's easy to lose track of what you wanted before you started reading.
I care about money too. Pay, location, and stability all matter. I also want to ask what another step up would cost in time, and whether I actually want that trade.
Some people love intense research work and want to give it a large part of their lives. Others want more time with family and friends, or for photography and travel. Neither needs to make that decision for the other. We're not all trying to get the same thing out of work.
I need the reminder myself: admiring someone else's choice isn't a reason to adopt all the expectations that come with it.
Be disappointed, then get on with your day
It's okay to feel bad after a rejection. You don't have to turn it into a “growth opportunity” that evening. Later, you can look at the concept you missed, the code you got stuck on, or the project explanation that wandered.
You also don't need to stay up analyzing every rejection. Some answers aren't available. Rehearsing the next project discussion—or getting some sleep—can be more useful than another hour guessing what the interviewer thought.
I want work I care about, and I want time for the rest of my life. Waiting for an offer before allowing myself to enjoy anything could turn into a long wait :)